Which of the Four Seasons Are You?

Pick any TV show or movie with an ensemble cast and you’ll find quizzes to help you determine which character you’re most like. Which Harry Potter character are you (and which house do you belong in)? Which Disney princess are you? Which of Marvel’s Avengers are you?

Iconic group The Four Seasons, led by Frankie Valli, is responsible for some of the biggest and still immediately recognizable hits of the ’60s, like “Sherry,” “Big Girls Don’t Cry,” and “Walk Like a Man,” plus 1975's “December, 1963 (Oh, What a Night),” perhaps the song they’re best known for now and the one you’re most likely to catch on the radio. The story of Frankie and the group’s three other founding members, Bob Gaudio, Nick Massi, and Tommy DeVito, who died earlier this week, was famously told in the hit musical Jersey Boys.

Of course it was a musical. Their music lends itself well to the format, and the name Four Seasons lends itself well to a narrative device. Each member narrates a different era of the band’s career, from their early days singing under a streetlamp to the height of their success — and their mob ties. When the group learns of Tommy’s debt to the mob and is discussing how to handle it, Nick suddenly quits. In a brief monologue at the end, he says, “It just came out of my mouth. Once I said it, I knew it was what I wanted.” He explores the possibility that maybe it was about ego, saying, “Everybody wants to be up front, but if there’s four guys and you’re Ringo…” which is funny and appropriate yet also kind of gives you insight to his head.

It’s easy to see why Nick felt this way. Tommy was a commanding presence that brought the group together and virtually ruined it with hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt. Frankie was, well, Frankie and is still a musical star, performing and selling out venues. Bob was the young kid who came in and wrote the band’s biggest hits. And then there’s Nick, whose contributions can easily fade in the background and who lets a lot of his bandmates’ transgressions slide. Despite having some of the musical’s most memorable lines, he is quiet for most of the show, commanding the most attention when he very loudly quits.

I feel like I’ve been Nick.

I know what it’s like to feel like the Ringo of the group. To feel like you’re overlooked, left out, unimportant, maybe even a joke.

I know what it’s like to sit back and keep your mouth shut, to deal with a lot of other people’s bullshit until one day, you just can’t anymore and you blow up, letting it all out in a way that maybe the people around you weren’t expecting.

I know what it’s like to essentially say you’ve had enough, to realize that you it’s time to go your own way, to realize that you’ve actually been unhappy for a long time and to just walk away from what — or who — it is that’s making you so unhappy.

The difference between me and Nick? He was very sure of his decision. When I’ve felt like Nick, I questioned myself relentlessly and had to constantly look at where I was at the time and how far I’d come and tell myself yet again that I had to do what was right for me, and that I’d done it.